What do Maroon 5 and Jack Reacher have in common?

They both spend all their money on payphones.

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Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

How does a nihilist propose to his fiancee?

Even though my existence is meaningless I want to spend the rest of it with you."

What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

How do you hide money from a Republican?

Hide it in a science book.

How did you get into counterfeiting?

Criminal: I answered an ad that said "Make money at home."

Maroon Jokes More Maroon Jokes

What happened when a ship carrying red paint collided with a ship carrying blue paint?

A: Both crews were marooned.

What happened when a ship carrying red paint collided with a shipcarrying blue paint?

Both crews were marooned.