What do you call 2 polar bears jerking each other off?

Bi-polar

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What do you call 2 medics?

paramedics

Why couldn't 5 stop drinking?

Because it was 2 turnt up

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Why are jerks nice sometimes?

Standard deviation of the mean (OC, as far as I know)

What did they say about the guy who woke up and jerked off on his alarm clock every day?

He always came on time.