What do you call 2000 mockingbirds?

Two kilomockingbirds (credit goes to my old physics book)

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What do you call a nut that can't talk?

Nutin special. Credit to my 8 year old daughter who made that one up.

How can you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?

One you'll see in a while, the other you'll see later. Credit to Mitch hedburg

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What does modern horror films and the 2000 presidential election have in common?

It's Al Gore

How does Microsoft count to 10?

1, 2, 3, 95, 98, ME, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10.