What do you call a dog that can find something that's not there?

A Labracadabrador

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How do you know that a dog is a man's best friend?

Take your girl and your dog, and lock them in the back of a car, return in 5 hours, which one do you think will be happy to see you?

How do you stop a dog from barking in July?

Shoot him in June.

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What's the hardest thing about finding a dead baby on the beach?

Hiding the erection.

What STD is found most commonly among lesbians?

Carpet burn

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What do you call a Magician's dog?

A Labracadabrador.

What do you call a dog magician?

A labracadabrador! I am not sorry.