What do you get when you hold two green balls tightly in your hand?

A leprachaun's undivided attention.

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What did the pirate tell his littler sister when she asked if she could hold his parrot?

ISIS

How does an engineer screw a light-bulb?

He holds the light-bulb over the socket and waits for the world to revolve around him.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What game are you watching?

I wonder what she thought I was doing with my hands.

How did pinocchio find out that he was made out of wood?

His hand caught fire.