What do you get when you hold two green balls tightly in your hand?

A leprachaun's undivided attention.

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What did one octopus say to the other octopus?

Will you hold my hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand

What has 108 teeth and holds back the incredible Hulk?

My Zipper.

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How do you tell when a girl really wants you?

When you put your hand down her pants you think you're feeding a horse.

How many of you believe in psychokinesis?

Raise my hand. - Taken from local Chinese joint fortune cookie.