What does a drunk police officer do?

Protect and swerve.

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Protect Jokes More Protect Jokes

What does stormtrooper armor protect against, exactly?

Knives

What do bostonians call dogs that protect heaven's gates?

God dogs

Swerve Jokes More Swerve Jokes

What kind of vehicle swerved to miss a talking lizard in the road?

Dodged-a-Rango

How do you know when you are too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and then realise it was your air freshener..