What does a drunk police officer do?

Protect and swerve.

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Protect Jokes More Protect Jokes

How do you protect a valuable instrument?

A: Hide it in an accordion case.

What's big and grey and protects you from the rain ?

An umbrellaphant !

Swerve Jokes More Swerve Jokes

How do you know when you are too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and then realise it was your air freshener..

What do you call a doe that swerves all over the road?

A rackless driver...