What does a pterodactyl have in common with a urinal?

P in front of it

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What does it sound like when a pterodactyl uses the bathroom?

Nothing, the pee is silent

Why don't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?

Because it's is silent....

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What's an author's favorite drink?

Tequila Mockingbird. (Yes I know it's horrible :P)

What begins with P ends with E and has thousands of letters?

The Post Office