What does a retired hairdresser and a bar of platinum have in common?

They both plat no more.

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Retire Jokes More Retire Jokes

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger do after he retired?

He became an ex-terminator!

What are you going to do with your time, now that you're retired?

I'm going to finish my book." "I didn't know you were writing a book." "I'm not, I'm reading one."

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

How long do you need to know someone before sharing fries?

Because I'm about to introduce myself to the girl at the end of the bar.

What does Light Yagami drink at the bar?

Tekira!