What does a retired hairdresser and a bar of platinum have in common?

They both plat no more.

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Retire Jokes More Retire Jokes

Why can't truck drivers ever fully retire?

Because they can only semi retire.

What did the retires baker say to the Dough on the table?

I don't knead you anymore.

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

Who's been screwing my wife?

A voice from the back of the bar shouts back, "You don't have enough ammo, mate!"

What do you call an attractive bee who goes to bars?

A bar-bee!