What does a retired hairdresser and a bar of platinum have in common?

They both plat no more.

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Retire Jokes More Retire Jokes

What do you call a cop who doesn't shoot innocent black people?

1. Acquitted 2. Fired, retired or expired

What's the fastest branch of the military?

The Marines. When they retire, they're corvettes.

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

A SQL query walks into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks...

'Can I join you?'

What do horses drink at the bar?

Chardon-neigh