What does a retired hairdresser and a bar of platinum have in common?

They both plat no more.

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Retire Jokes More Retire Jokes

What was Bob the Builder called after he retired?

Bob.

What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire?

How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on thanksgiving)

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

Why is that bear hanging out in the bar?

ME: He's a well known, gimmick. IAN: Really ME: That's Conan. Conan The Bar Bear, Ian.

What does a Seal drink at a bar?

Anything but Canadian Club..