What does a toddler get drunk off of?

Jack Danimals!

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What do you get when you stab a toddler with a pair of scissors?

An erection.

What do a 14 year old and an open bucket of bleach have in common?

For twenty bucks either'll take care of your toddler. -&y (yup, mine)

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What did Samsung say to Apple?

You don't no jack!

What happens when Jack is angry with his beans?

Jack and the beans talk