Toddler Jokes

What breaks when you give it to a toddler?

Their hips.

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What do you get when you drop a piano on a toddler?

A flat minor

What do you call an army of toddlers?

Infantry.

What's the difference between Gabe Newell and a toddler?

A toddler can count past two...

What does a toddler get drunk off of?

Jack Danimals!

Why do parents send their toddlers to the army for daycare?

Because they're sending them to the infantry!

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a toddler?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

What do a 14 year old and an open bucket of bleach have in common?

For twenty bucks either'll take care of your toddler. -&y (yup, mine)

What's the difference between a toddler and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would let a bag of cocaine fall out the window.

What does a quantum physicist tell their toddler who keeps asking "Why" over and over?

Because I saw so."

What's the difference between a paddling pool and a toddler?

The pool doesn't scream when you go in dry.

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What is the difference between a bag of cocaine and a toddler?

Eric Clapton won't let a bag of cocaine fall out of the window.

What do you call toddlers who are dictators?

Dictator Tots

When punching a toddler, how hard is too hard?

Calm down... I'm not talking about MY kid. I know how hard to punch her. I'm her mother.

What do white supremacists send their toddlers to before kindergarten?

Pre-KKK

What do you call it?

God: A toddler.

What do you get when you stab a toddler with a pair of scissors?

An erection.

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Duckle Jokes More Duckle Jokes

How about a dirty joke?

the new born white duckling fell into the mud. the filthy, filthy mud.

What did did the mother duck say to her duckling?

A: "If you don't behave, I'm gonna quack you one."

Gabe Newell Jokes More Gabe Newell Jokes

Who should we vote for the next president?

Gabe Newell. There will never be a World War 3.

What's the difference between Gabe Newell and a toddler?

A toddler can count past two...

Infantry Jokes More Infantry Jokes

Why do parents send their toddlers to the army for daycare?

Because they're sending them to the infantry!

What do you call a squadron of baby soldiers?

Infantry.

Care Jokes More Care Jokes

What do you call a road that doesn't care about anyone?

A psycho-path.

Whats the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I dont know and I dont care.

Pool Jokes More Pool Jokes

How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool?

Please Get Out The Pool"

What's the difference between a paddling pool and a toddler?

The pool doesn't scream when you go in dry.

Flat Minor Jokes More Flat Minor Jokes

What chord does a piano make when it drops on a child?

A-flat minor

What sound does a piano make when falling down a mine shaft?

A-flat minor.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Where were you?

Uh, with my.. gf " Gf Well, tell us about her! What's her name commercial on tv uh.. Lisa.. Brandnewtoyota

How can you tell the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?

Because if it were invented anywhere else, it'd be called a teethbrush.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Futurama and One Direction?

There's only one Bender in Futurama

What's the difference between my daughter and my driveway?

I don't want to plow my driveway