What does a quantum physicist tell their toddler who keeps asking "Why" over and over?

Because I saw so."

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How do you get half of Mexico to jump off a cliff?

Throw a penny off. How do you get the other half to jump too? ... Tell them no one found it yet.

Whats the difference between a shower thought and a joke?

I don't know you tell me.

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How do you make $3 million in 48 seconds?

Ask Ronda Rousey!

What is the main reason people are voting for Brexit?

When asked if they want to be economically joined with Greece, all they can say is "eeeeuuuuuuu"

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When punching a toddler, how hard is too hard?

Calm down... I'm not talking about MY kid. I know how hard to punch her. I'm her mother.

What do you get when you stab a toddler with a pair of scissors?

An erection.

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What does a quantum physicist tell their toddler who keeps asking "Why" over and over?

Because I saw so."

What do quantum physicists do when life gives them lemons?

Everything