What does Dracula say when you tell him a new fact?

Well fangcy that!

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How do you make a motherboard?

I asked him. He said, "Tell her about my job."

What is the difference between a English actuary and a Sicilian actuary?

An English actuary can tell you how many people are going to die next year. A Sicilian actuary can give you their names...

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Why did Dracula need medicine?

Because he was coffin.

What does Mrs Dracula say to Mr Dracula when he leaves for work in the evening?

Have a nice bite!