What does the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator?

Shut the door im dressing

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Why do you think I spend too much time at my computer?

Well dear... Every time I ask you to close the windows you answer with "Please wait while your computer shuts down"...

What'd be worse?

Zombie apocalypse or Facebook shutting down and 500 million retards all of sudden using twitter

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What does the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator?

Shut the door im dressing

Why do rednecks always smell like pickles, mayonnaise, and ham?

Because they're inbred.