What famous American filmmaker lived in a safe?

Vault Disney

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Which American city did Japan ruin?

Detroit

What does the Chinese government call an American with a PhD in physics, math and chemistry?

STUPID AMERICAN!

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear?

Nothing, penguins live in the south pole and polar bears live in the north pole. TROLOLOLOL

What's the bad news?

Asked the patients. "You only have 24-hours to live." "And the really bad news " I should have told you yesterday.