What if she drinks too much, or gets high?

Me: You really aren't my kid are you

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why doesn't Ronald Reagan drink orange juice?

Because he's dead.

How many Mormons do you take fishing with you?

Two. If you only take one, he'll drink all your beer.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Where did the kid with adhd go?

Aushwitz

Why did the kid cross the playground?

To get to the other slide. Edit: spelling.