What's the difference between a kid and a joke?

A kid can joke but a joke cannot kid.

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What's the difference between a cheeesburger and Reddit gold?

A cheeseburger can't feed your ego.

What's the difference between Wendy's and Windows?

Wendy's is never frozen.

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What was Santa's christmas-present for the kid with no hands?

new gloves for the cold days

What do you call a kid with no arms or legs at the front door?

Matt.

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Why are astrophysicists always nervous before they launch a new satellite?

It can be a very Hubble-ing experience. These jokes may not be funny for you, but they are Fermi.

What does a National Geographic magazine or a JC Penney catalog have in common?

Sorry, the punchline is the joke. If you don't get it, ask your dad.