What is Italian-American foreplay?

Hey! Wake up and roll over!"

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Why did the dung beetle go to rehab?

He was rolling balls.

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

To get to the bottom

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What's updog?

Mom: Just waking you up for school, dog, what's up wit u Dad (from hallway): OWNED

How woke?

Me: We're putting Harriet Tubman on something that enslaves us all today.