What is Italian-American foreplay?

Hey! Wake up and roll over!"

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What do you call a laptop in the ocean?

A Dell, rolling in the deep.

What's a feminist's least favourite bread?

Gender rolls

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What's updog?

Mom: Just waking you up for school, dog, what's up wit u Dad (from hallway): OWNED

Why do I always seem to start my day backwards?

I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake