What is the ardent task of searching for a new wallpaper called?

Running a Backgroud Check.

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Why is it not safe to doze on trains?

Because they run over sleepers.

Why does a Canadian with a stutter never run low on batteries?

He always has plenty of double "eh"s, triple "eh"s...

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How many social scientists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Social scientists do not change light bulbs they search for the root cause as to why the last one went out.

Why is CoD like women?

Search and Destroy.