What is the best place for politicians?

Election posters. There they are portable, silent and easy to remove.

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What starts with r and ends with d?

removed

Why did Gandalf have to go to the hospital to get a splinter removed?

He had a staff infection...

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Where is the best place to hide a body?

Buried in the third page of google search results.

Where's the best place to have a waffle on the beach?

San Diego. (Sandy Eggo)

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What's the most dangerous place in Washington D.C.?

Between a politician and a news camera.

What do politicians and sperm have in common?

About 1 in every 600 million has a chance of becoming a human.