What's a cow's favourite love song?

When I fall in love it will be for heifer.

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What did the bell say when it fell in the water?

I'm wringing wet.

Why did the woman fall in love with the surgeon?

Because he cauterize.

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What's the difference between an 18yo and a washing machine?

You can dump your load in a washing machine and it won't follow you round for two weeks telling you it loves you

What do you call someone who loves Christmas but doubts the existence of God?

Eggnog-stic.