What's a ducks favourite snack?

Quackers! **EDIT: Spelling**

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Why don't you want to win an award for Best Feline Sphincter?

Because it's a catastrophe :-) Yeah, ok, I'll be going now. EDIT: removed explanation.

Why do Chinese only care about themselves?

Because they have no i's (plural of i). Edit: eyes. Eyes guys. It's a bad pun.

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Why do pop artists hate shoe shopping?

They have too many ft. *edit for spelling

What do you call a cantaloupe who can't elope?

A cantaloupe. The spelling is completely different...

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What do you call a religious duck?

A Quacker

What do you call a crate of ducks ?

A box of quackers !