What should you do if a bird poos on your car?

Don't ask her out again

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Why couldn't the Japanese guy see his car?

Because he had a cataract!

What is a Car in the U.S.?

A mode of transportation. :D

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Where can you go on Reddit to ask questions?

Not /r/movies.

How'd you get that cut above your eye?

Me: *Remembering dropping my phone on my face* "STOP ASKING ME ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!"