What will it be for you, my friend?

the vendor asks. "Make me one with everything"

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Why would my wife ask if I was wearing this shirt when it's already on?

Stop talking in secret code.

What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working?

A: Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What's worse than 9/11?

311 Credit goes to my friend Max.

What's the difference between Limburger cheese and my friend Ted?

One is white and stinks, and the other is cheese. (As told to me by the UPS guy)