What will it be for you, my friend?

the vendor asks. "Make me one with everything"

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What tool does a black lumberjack use?

An ask. (Explanation: Because most black people say ax for ask, it is swapped around.) Came up with it by myself, how did I do

How can you tell if a girl is under 18?

Ask her if she is a Bernie Sanders supporter.

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What do you call a piece of pasta that doesn't have any friends?

Cannelonely!

Why can't there be some sort of mathematic formula for making friends?

A squadratic formula, if you will.