What will it be for you, my friend?

the vendor asks. "Make me one with everything"

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Why the sad face?

asks the bartender. "I got fired."

What's this for?

He asked. "A pay rise." I replied. "My wife told me to grow it first and then ask you."

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What does Stevie Wonder call his money?

Wonderbread. Anyone want to be my friend

When you go to a regular movie, a friend asks you "so how good was the movie?

When you go to an M.night Shamylan movie a friend asks " So how bad was the plot twist "