Why can't there be some sort of mathematic formula for making friends?

A squadratic formula, if you will.

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What happens when your friend from Prague topples over?

You right a Czech.

What is he doing now?

Friend: "Nothing" Me: "But I thought he got the job! " Friend: "Yes he did."

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What sort of cheese do you use to get a bear to go on a outing with you?

Camembert

What the hell is this REstraining Order?

I never even got a Straining Order I'm gonna go over to her house and sort this out.