Why can't there be some sort of mathematic formula for making friends?

A squadratic formula, if you will.

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Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

Why didn't Princess Diana have very many friends on Xbox Live?

All she does is stay on the dashboard.

What did Little Bo Peep say to Woody when she got caught screwing Buzz?

You got a friend in me.

Sort Jokes More Sort Jokes

What the hell is this REstraining Order?

I never even got a Straining Order I'm gonna go over to her house and sort this out.

What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear ?

A petticoat !