Why can't there be some sort of mathematic formula for making friends?

A squadratic formula, if you will.

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Why isn't anyone afraid of China?

Because everyone knows General Tsao's chicken. Heard from a friend today. :)

What did she say about me?

Friend: She said you ask too many questions Me: She said that Too many questions Really Me ...What else

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What sort of an act do you do?

I bend over backwards and pick up a handkerchief with my teeth. Anything else Then I bend over backwards and pick up my teeth.

What's the opposite of "lily white"?

A racist term of some sort.