What would Valve call the next world war?

A Global Offensive.

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Why did both Germany and the U.S want to hire Apes during World War Two?

Because they are excellent at waging Gorilla warfare!

Why did Europe start the first World War?

They did't like being sans-Ferdinand.

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What Counting system does Valve use?

Trinary

Why does VALVE end with 2?

Because they can't count to