Valve Jokes

What's the difference between Valve and uranium?

Uranium gets to its half-life on time.

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Why does VALVE end with 2?

Because they can't count to

What Counting system does Valve use?

Trinary

What would Valve call the next world war?

A Global Offensive.

How many people does it take for Valve to change a light bulb?

Two at most.

What did GabeN tell his wife when she shouted "shut your hole" at him?

Babe, it's a valve!"

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People Jokes More People Jokes

How do people at rodeos heckle the riders?

Moooo!

Why do people on acid listen to Dubstep?

Because if they didn't drop the base it would be a neutral reaction and they wouldn't feel the psychedelic effects.

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

How many chicken does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Still counting. Those darned birds can't seem to cross the road to get over here to screw in the light bulb.

Which snake is the best at counting Nigerians?

A Black Adder

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a monster and a mouse?

A monster makes bigger holes in the skirting board.

What's the difference between you and I?

About 12 letters

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Why did the people's phones stop working on the plane's that crashed into the twin towers?

They were in airplane mode. (I'm so sorry)

What does a Russian woman say to stop her husband from abusing her?

Vladislov, baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more... I'm sorry..

Babe Jokes More Babe Jokes

What did GabeN tell his wife when she shouted "shut your hole" at him?

Babe, it's a valve!"

What did the stork say to the couple?

Sorry mates Im out of babes (its a linguistic joke)

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did the cactus say to his wife?

Aloe Vera!

What did Wilford Brimley say to his wife when he found out she was pregnant?

You have diafetus

Hole Jokes More Hole Jokes

Why did... Why did the golfer wear an extra pair of pants?

In case he got a hole in one! Ha Ha Ha Ha

What do you call a man in a hole?

Phil.

Half Life Jokes More Half Life Jokes

What's the difference between Valve and uranium?

Uranium gets to its half-life on time.

Why did the angry skeptic keep ignoring official reports about the eventual release of Half-Life 3?

He was blowing off Steam