Half Life Jokes

What's the difference between Valve and uranium?

Uranium gets to its half-life on time.

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What would happen if the Illuminati and Half-Life 3 agreed with each other?

Illuminati and Half-Life 3 conformed.

Why did the angry skeptic keep ignoring official reports about the eventual release of Half-Life 3?

He was blowing off Steam

Why isn't Half-Life 3 coming out?

Because 2 Half-Lives = 1 whole life.

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Sunday Jokes More Sunday Jokes

What are the strongest days?

Saturday and Sundays. The others are weakdays

Why did Clemson choose orange as its team color?

So they could play football on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up garbage the rest of the week.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What did the physicist say to the two women he was trying to pick up at the bar?

Do you ladies wanna go back to my place and conduct a double slit experiment?"

How can you tell this joke was submitted by a woman?

No, wait.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What does Jerry Sandusky and a Silver Medalist have in common?

They both came in a little behind!

What do you call a smoothie that came out too thick?

A chunky. Credit to my dad this morning..

Valve Jokes More Valve Jokes

How many people does it take for Valve to change a light bulb?

Two at most.

What did GabeN tell his wife when she shouted "shut your hole" at him?

Babe, it's a valve!"

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when a Pokemon goes through puberty?

It's bells sprout.

What happens when you combine Rick & Morty with a Solar Flare?

You get Solar Morty and WOOOoooooo!

Half Life 3 Jokes More Half Life 3 Jokes

What would happen if the Illuminati and Half-Life 3 agreed with each other?

Illuminati and Half-Life 3 conformed.

Why did the angry skeptic keep ignoring official reports about the eventual release of Half-Life 3?

He was blowing off Steam

Aborted Fetus Jokes More Aborted Fetus Jokes

What do they call aborted fetuses in Prague?

Cancelled Czechs.

Why did the woman take her third aborted fetus to see the priest on Sunday?

Half Life 3 Confirmed!

Illuminati Jokes More Illuminati Jokes

Why is Canada the part of the Illuminati?

Because they have 3 ehs in the name. C-eh-N-eh-D-eh

Why does the Illuminati have to be the bad guy all the time?

Why can't they just be the Illuminice?