Half Life Jokes

What's the difference between Valve and uranium?

Uranium gets to its half-life on time.

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What would happen if the Illuminati and Half-Life 3 agreed with each other?

Illuminati and Half-Life 3 conformed.

Why did the angry skeptic keep ignoring official reports about the eventual release of Half-Life 3?

He was blowing off Steam

Why isn't Half-Life 3 coming out?

Because 2 Half-Lives = 1 whole life.

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Half Life 3 Jokes More Half Life 3 Jokes

Why isn't Half-Life 3 coming out?

Because 2 Half-Lives = 1 whole life.

Why did the angry skeptic keep ignoring official reports about the eventual release of Half-Life 3?

He was blowing off Steam

Ignore Jokes More Ignore Jokes

Why was the Polaroid fanfiction ignored by the photography community?

Because it wasn't Canon.

Why did the mathematician ignore the tan lady on the beach?

He was too concerned with the tan gent.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What is six inches long has a bald head and drives every woman crazy?

100$ bill

What's the one thing a woman wants most in this world?

Nothing, she's fine

Steam Jokes More Steam Jokes

What do Steam users and Reddit admins have in common?

They don't want to pay for mods.

What do you call a vaping vegan?

A steamed vegetable

Agree Jokes More Agree Jokes

What's the biggest lie of the Universe?

I Have Read and Agree to the Terms of Service."

Why buy expensive fireworks when you can make your own with ordinary household chemicals?

I said, and the other patients in the ER agreed.

Confirm Jokes More Confirm Jokes

Why did the woman take her third aborted fetus to see the priest on Sunday?

Half Life 3 Confirmed!

Why did the snail cross the road ?

It is not clear yet , let it cross the road first. Update : It has been confirmed that it was to meet the Chicken who crossed the road earlier.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a chickpea and a garabonzo bean?

I don't have a garabonzo bean in my garage because that's where I get pee'd on so there is tarps everywhere.

What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

I wouldn't pay 50 to have a lentil on my face...

Sunday Jokes More Sunday Jokes

Why are Saturday and Sunday strong?

Because all the other days are week days.

What does the emperor have when he goes for a sunday drive?

he has Divine Right of way