What's got two legs and bleeds?

half a dog Derek, s01e05

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Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What has two eyes but can't see, two wings but can't fly, and two legs but can't walk?

A dead bird.

What famous actor costs an arm &amp a leg to hire?

ARMold SchwarzenLEGger

Bleed Jokes More Bleed Jokes

What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot?

Half a cat.

What bleeds once a month in the mouth?

Me, when I remember to floss once a month. Edit: account got hacked and showed something different. Sorry about that

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What do you get when you mate an elephant with a poodle?

A poodle split in half.

What's worse than finding a caterpillar in your apple?

Finding half a caterpillar in your apple