How many people does it take for Valve to change a light bulb?

Two at most.

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People Jokes More People Jokes

Where do people go for pasta related crimes?

A PENNEtentiary!

What is the difference between a philanthropist and Nicki Minaj?

A philanthropist likes to impress people with his larg**esse**! :-P

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

Why doesn't Shirley Manson change her Facebook relationship status?

She's only happy when "It's Complicated."

How many egoists does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. They simply hold the bulb and wait for the world to revolve around them.

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many Sigmund Freud's does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Cocaine.

How many Mennonites does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven - one to actually change the bulb and six to complain that they liked the old one better.

Valve Jokes More Valve Jokes

What would Valve call the next world war?

A Global Offensive.

What's the difference between Valve and uranium?

Uranium gets to its half-life on time.