Whats The difference between Stealing Cookies from a Jar and Child Molesting?

Ive only ever been caught stealing cookies.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between an Nvidia card and an AMD card?

One empties your pocket. The other makes Hot Pockets.

What's the difference between a optimist, a pessimist and a realist?

The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel. The pessimist sees nothing. And the realist sees the train.

S Jokes More S Jokes

Whats the difference between a porsche and an erection?

I dont have a porsche. (Best told by whispering in someones ear.)

Whats the difference between me and Jimmy Fallon?

I can get through his opening monologue without laughing

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

How did the Egyptian go broke?

He got caught up in a pyramid scheme.

How do you catch King Kong?

Hang upside down and make a noise like a banana.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

Why did you steal that bird?

Prisoner: For a lark sir.

Why did the asian man get arrested for stealing a Buick sedan?

It was a Regal