Which positions does a violist use?

A: First third and emergency.

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Position Jokes More Position Jokes

Why do the Heisenberg operators for position and momentum work from home?

Because they won't commute.

What position does the pig play in football?

Loinback.

Emergency Jokes More Emergency Jokes

What's your emergency, sir?

Me: I'm being taken away by ducks! I'm being- 911: Please don't do this, sir M: AbDUCKted! 911: *hangs up*

What's your emergency?

Boy: Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning.