Why are Jedi terrible at Rugby?

Because "There is no Try."

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Why are Jedis allowed to use negative numbers?

Because only Siths deal in absolutes.

Why was the Jedi so good at the synthesizer?

He had a high MIDI-chlorian count. Test.

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Why did the blonde give up on trying to blow up a car?

She burnt her lips on the exhaust pipe

Why did Mary get a restraining order against Black Beard the Pirate?

He kept trying to plunder her booty.