Why are Mistborns always so thin?

Because they're always Burning calories!

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Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

Why did the hipster burn his tongue drinking tea?

Because he didn't wait for it to be cool.

What do a burnt pizza, frozen beer, and a pregnant girl have in common?

Someone didn't pull it out in time.

Calorie Jokes More Calorie Jokes

Why do you want to run for President?

Because walking wouldn't burn enough calories.

How my girlfriend stay's thin. Wanna know how my girlfriend stays thin?

She burns most of her calories jumping to conclusions.