Why do you want to run for President?

Because walking wouldn't burn enough calories.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Where are you going to keep them ?

Stan: In the bathroom Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath Stan: Blindfold them !

What is enjoyed if it is wanted and hated if its not?

Democracy

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

What does a flame smell like?

Burnt nose hair.

How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

They don't change it. They just watch it burn out, then follow it around for another 15 years.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What do you say when your mom walks in on you fapping?

C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

What's the difference between a doctor and God?

God doesn't walk around thinking he's a doctor.

President Jokes More President Jokes

What does the president of Russia call his toilet?

Vladimir's Poo Tin

Who says Republicans aren't into recycling?

Mitt Romney's thinking of running for President, again.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why was the first computer never invited to dinner?

It would just take a few bytes then run.

Who the hell is this 'Foreclosure' guy?

And what is he running for

Calorie Jokes More Calorie Jokes

How many calories does heartache burn?

Me: Depends on how many calories are in the person you are setting on fire.

How my girlfriend stay's thin. Wanna know how my girlfriend stays thin?

She burns most of her calories jumping to conclusions.