Why can I never be a doctor?

Because I don't have any patients

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Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

How does an apple a day keep the doctor away?

When you take careful aim.

Why wasn't the patient concerned when she was told she had a brain tumor?

The doctor said it was all in her head

Patient Jokes More Patient Jokes

Why are doctors always calm?

They have a lot of patients. Sorry.

What's the bad news?

Asked the patients. "You only have 24-hours to live." "And the really bad news " I should have told you yesterday.