Why did the doctor kick his patients?

He was trying to heel them.

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Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What did Richard Nixon say after he tried to make dinner at the White House for the first time?

I am not a cook

Why did helium get into a fight with neon?

They can't bond with each other, no matter how hard they try.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

Why doesn't Monica Lewinsky like going to the doctor?

He always shoves a Bill down her throat!

What did the doctor say to the man that broke his arm?

Be patient

Kick Jokes More Kick Jokes

Why was the insect kicked out of the wildlife preserve?

A: It was a litterbug.

How do you castrate an Amish man?

Kick his sister in the jaw.

Patient Jokes More Patient Jokes

Why wasn't the patient concerned when she was told she had a brain tumor?

The doctor said it was all in her head

What did the head trauma patients do when the price of medicine went up?

A: They went on stroke.

Heel Jokes More Heel Jokes

Why doesn't Achilles have any scars?

His wounds always heel.

Whatcha call that?

Head over heels.