Why did the doctor kick his patients?

He was trying to heel them.

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Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What did Lil' Jon do when Home Depot employee tried to sell him a lightbulb?

Turned down 4 watt

Why did the mirror have holes in it?

A: A moron kept trying to shoot himself.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What do you call a Med School student who graduates with all C's?

A Doctor.

Why did the orange go to the doctor?

Because she wasn't peeling very well... All credit to my 8 yo son who suggested I post it here

Kick Jokes More Kick Jokes

Why was the legless man immortal?

Because he couldn't kick the bucket.

What would be the perfect theme song to Oscar Pistorius kicking trying to kick down a bathroom door?

Good Vibrations

Patient Jokes More Patient Jokes

What do you see?

Patient: A house and Me: Wrong it's Batman. Ok this one Patient: I se Me: Nope. Batman again.

What did the doctor say to the prosecutor?

You're trying my patients!

Heel Jokes More Heel Jokes

Whatcha call that?

Head over heels.

Why doesn't Achilles have any scars?

His wounds always heel.