When the hell did you grow a beard?

Me: This morning. On the way here. Just felt like it was time.

Previous Random Joke Next

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What does Batman's mum shout when it's time for dinner?

Nothing. She's dead.

What did the busy port master say to the rowdy pirates who wanted to dock?

I don't have time for your ship."

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

Why does my van have windows?

I want to make my victims feel like they have a chance.

How did the woman feel after her legs were amputated?

Defeeted

Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

What do you plant ... What do you plant, to grow a really big plant that has nothing wrong with it?

Dyslexic acorns. They grow into A-ok trees.

Why are Peter pan Jokes always funny?

Because they never grow old

Way Jokes More Way Jokes

What do you call a belt with a watch on it?

A waist of time *door closes on way out*

Where do you go to weigh a pie?

Somewhere over the rainbow weigh a pie. (sounds like way up high)

Beard Jokes More Beard Jokes

What do you call a ceramicist with a beard?

A Harry Potter

Who can shave 25 times in one day, and still have a beard?

A barber!

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

What do you call it when you spill your morning drive-through beverage on your virus scan software?

Getting McCafe on McAfee

What's the first thing a cannibal does in the morning?

Grab a cup of joe.