Why do you need 200 condoms?

Me: I have a beard and an accent. *winks* *Spends night making balloon animals

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Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How many US Congressmen does it take to change a lightbulb?

Oh, please. Like they've ever changed anything that needed it.

Why did the math student fail his exam?

He needed to sketch the sine and cuisine graphs but only knew how to do cos(-x)

Beard Jokes More Beard Jokes

What do you call a man without a beard?

A woman.

When the hell did you grow a beard?

Me: This morning. On the way here. Just felt like it was time.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What did the egg say to the boiler water?

It might take me awhile to get hard, I just got laid last night.

What do Microsoft updates and Brock Turner have in common?

They install at night, while you are asleep, without consent.

Balloon Animal Jokes More Balloon Animal Jokes

What do you call a balloon animal made out of a condom?

A Trojan horse.

Why couldn't the birthday clown make balloon animals for the children?

With the rising cost of inflation he couldn't afford it anymore.

Accent Jokes More Accent Jokes

Why does Gru speak with an accent?

Because he's Arminion.

Why do you need 200 condoms?

Me: I have a beard and an accent. *winks* *Spends night making balloon animals

200 Jokes More 200 Jokes

Whats the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?

I wouldn't pay 200 to have a lentil on in my mouth

What did the author tell his publisher when he handed him a 600 pages instead of the 200 the publisher had asked for?

Sorry, I overwrote your order. :-)

Wink Jokes More Wink Jokes

How can we supply that many?

Jesus: *winks at camera*

Whatsapp?

He winked at me, I should send him a dragon head." "No babe, this calls for a full dragon."