Why can't a blonde dial 911?

Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: She can't find the eleven.

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What do you get if you cross Snoop Dogg with a hippo?

A smokesalottapotamus.

What kind of bug do you find on a long car ride?

An I-shoulda-pede.

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What's the difference between Polio and 9/11?

The government actually wanted to stop Polio.

What's the difference between a cow and 911?

You stop milking a cow after 14 years..

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Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?

Q. They think their picture is being taken.

What's a Michigander?

A: An Ohioan who can read. Q: What's an Ohioan? A: A Kentuckian who can count. Q: What's a Kentuckian? A: A West Virginian with a branching family tree. Q: And who the hell are you to be making all these rude judgments? A: Trauma counselor for tour guides.