Why can't my girlfriend perform at open mic night?

Because she's a cover thief.

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Perform Jokes More Perform Jokes

How many members of an identifiable group does it take to perform a common task?

A certain number! One to actually perform the task, and the rest to act in a manner stereotypical of the group.

Why won't A Flock of Seagulls perform in the Middle East?

Iran so far away

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What's the difference between my GoPro and my girlfriend?

I wouldn't spend hours looking for my girlfriend at a ski resort if I lost her on the mountain.

What do girlfriends and sperm have in common?

They both always seem to end up in your clothes