Why can't my girlfriend perform at open mic night?

Because she's a cover thief.

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Perform Jokes More Perform Jokes

Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.

Why won't A Flock of Seagulls perform in the Middle East?

Iran so far away

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What's 9 inches long, pink, and makes my girlfriend scream when I put it in her mouth?

Her miscarriage.

What did the lesbian vampire say to her girlfriend?

See you next month!