Why did the crematorium operator get a $500 bonus?

Because he'd urn-ed it.

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What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

I wouldn't pay $300 to have a garbanzo bean in my mouth

Why was Adele's phone bill $500 this month?

She must have called a 1,000 times

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What is the proper weight for a lawyer?

About 3 pounds .......not counting the urn!

Why did the crematorium operator get a $500 bonus?

Because he'd urn-ed it.