00 Jokes

What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

I wouldn't pay $300 to have a garbanzo bean in my mouth

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

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What's the difference between a green lentil and a chickpea?

I wouldn't pay $200 to have a green lentil on my face.

What's the difference between feminism and a $100 bill?

A $100 bill makes change

What's the difference between a lentil and a chick pea?

I won't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face.

Why did the calculator pay $100 for a pack of cigarettes?

There was a sin tax error. 8.5

What's the difference between a garbanzo and a chick pea?

I'm not spending $100 to have a garbanzo on my face.

What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives your girlfriend wild?

A $100 bill.

What do you call a circle of $100 bills?

Aretha Franklins! (Happy birthday to the Queen of Soul!)

Why did the crematorium operator get a $500 bonus?

Because he'd urn-ed it.

What is the difference between a lentil and a chick pea?

Well, for starters I would never pay $200 to have a lentil on my face.

What is the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?

A pervert wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on his face.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

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Why was Adele's phone bill $500 this month?

She must have called a 1,000 times

What is my relationship?

Alex: No sorry tha- glares at wife I'll take YOU RUINED MY LIFE KAREN for $800 Alex

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What do you call a waffle that's been buried in sand?

Sandiego (The first joke I ever made as a kid)

What is JPA? Joke point average. Where do people with high JPAs go to?

Hahaharvard

Kidnap Jokes More Kidnap Jokes

What happend to the guys who kidnapped Batman?

They got Bale.

What's it called when you kidnap a ghost?

A Polter-Heist

Alarm Jokes More Alarm Jokes

Why does John Cena set his alarm at 1:59?

So he can kick out at 2.

What's the difference between an expensive purchase and a loud noise that scares a chicken?

One costs an arm and a leg. The other caused alarm and an egg.

Repost Jokes More Repost Jokes

What does NASCAR stand for?

Non-athletic-sport-centered-around-rednecks (I heard this forever ago and wanted to share. Sorry if it happens to be a repost.)

What's the best part about living in a black family?

You never have to hear a dad joke. Edit. Just thought of this at work one day hope it's not a repost

400 Jokes More 400 Jokes

What do you get when you cross 400 Obese Water Buffalo with a Transgender Pimp?

Clickbait

When's the best time of day to start a diet?

4:00 For:Klock

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Where would you find Percy Miller's toothbrush?

In his Master P room.

What would Burger Kings slogan be if Jesus founded it?

Have it Yahweh

Knock Jokes More Knock Jokes

What happened to the astronaut who was knocked out?

He saw stars.

How do you know if there is a drummer at your door?

A: The knocking always speeds up.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What should you do when your epileptic child starts seizing in the bathtub?

Throw in your laundry!

What did two twins name a towing company started in lower Manhattan?

The Twin Towers.