00 Jokes

What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

I wouldn't pay $300 to have a garbanzo bean in my mouth

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What's the difference between a green lentil and a chickpea?

I wouldn't pay $200 to have a green lentil on my face.

What's the difference between feminism and a $100 bill?

A $100 bill makes change

What's the difference between a lentil and a chick pea?

I won't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face.

Why did the calculator pay $100 for a pack of cigarettes?

There was a sin tax error. 8.5

What's the difference between a garbanzo and a chick pea?

I'm not spending $100 to have a garbanzo on my face.

What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives your girlfriend wild?

A $100 bill.

What do you call a circle of $100 bills?

Aretha Franklins! (Happy birthday to the Queen of Soul!)

Why did the crematorium operator get a $500 bonus?

Because he'd urn-ed it.

What is the difference between a lentil and a chick pea?

Well, for starters I would never pay $200 to have a lentil on my face.

What is the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?

A pervert wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on his face.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why was Adele's phone bill $500 this month?

She must have called a 1,000 times

What is my relationship?

Alex: No sorry tha- glares at wife I'll take YOU RUINED MY LIFE KAREN for $800 Alex

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Diet Jokes More Diet Jokes

What is skeleton?

Interviewer:what is skeleton? Sardar:Sir, skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!

Why did Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson have to change his diet?

Because his nutritionist said he had too many minerals in his system!

Repost Jokes More Repost Jokes

How many redditors does it take to make a good joke?

Three. One to post it, the second to post a better punchline in the comments, and the third to complain that it's a repost.

What did the troll say to the new user who accidentally made a repost?

Reddit already. Downvote.

Crowd Jokes More Crowd Jokes

Why did the crowd riot at the Nickelback concert?

Because they didn't get their nickel back.

How do you pick out the Christian Terrorist out of a crowd?

Find the guy wearing a rebel flag.

400 Jokes More 400 Jokes

What is the difference between 400 dead babies and a watermelon?

I don't have a watermelon in my garage.

What is Nitrate?

Girl: My place, 250...your place 400!

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

What do you call a Mexican midget?

A paragraph, because he is not a full essay.

How can you tell you live in an Asian part of town?

All the Mexicans have car insurance.

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

What did the cow say to the paintbrush?

Moo. As told by my kid this morning.

What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs in the evening and 6 legs at night?

I've trapped it in my bedroom, send help...

Shout Jokes More Shout Jokes

How do you sell a dog to someone hard of hearing?

Get really close to their ear and shout, "DO YOU WANNA BUY A DOG "

What it is, sweetie?

3: shouting I POOPED! "Do you know what a secret is " 3: whispering no.

Alarm Jokes More Alarm Jokes

Why did the spud lover set his alarm for 8:00?

Because he wanted to get a-po-ta-to clock. to make joke more apparent

Why does John Cena set his alarm at 1:59?

So he can kick out at 2.