00 Jokes

What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

I wouldn't pay $300 to have a garbanzo bean in my mouth

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What's the difference between a green lentil and a chickpea?

I wouldn't pay $200 to have a green lentil on my face.

What's the difference between feminism and a $100 bill?

A $100 bill makes change

What's the difference between a lentil and a chick pea?

I won't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face.

Why did the calculator pay $100 for a pack of cigarettes?

There was a sin tax error. 8.5

What's the difference between a garbanzo and a chick pea?

I'm not spending $100 to have a garbanzo on my face.

What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives your girlfriend wild?

A $100 bill.

What do you call a circle of $100 bills?

Aretha Franklins! (Happy birthday to the Queen of Soul!)

Why did the crematorium operator get a $500 bonus?

Because he'd urn-ed it.

What is the difference between a lentil and a chick pea?

Well, for starters I would never pay $200 to have a lentil on my face.

What is the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?

A pervert wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on his face.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

Why was Adele's phone bill $500 this month?

She must have called a 1,000 times

What is my relationship?

Alex: No sorry tha- glares at wife I'll take YOU RUINED MY LIFE KAREN for $800 Alex

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why is the UK suddenly a happy place?

Because now they too have a day to light fireworks on!

What time of day are you not able to find your watch?

4:04

Fight Jokes More Fight Jokes

What did Mike Tyson say when asked about the time he fought the God of Asgard?

The loser was 'thore'"

What's your emergency?

Boy: Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning.

Tie Jokes More Tie Jokes

Who won the race between two balls of string?

They we're tied!

What's a Southeastern Asian business professional's favorite food?

Tie food

Good Time Jokes More Good Time Jokes

Whats the best time to go to the dentist?

4:30pm It let's you out of work a bit early with a valid excuse

What's the best time to go to a dentist?

Two thirty

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What's wrong with lawyer jokes?

Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes.

How do you find hundreds of jokes about finding Will Smith in the snow?

Type "fresh prints" in the "search reddit" box at the right.

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

What's the difference between work and your daughter?

I'm not coming into work this morning!"

What do call a bad haircut you got from a Native American?

A-patchy scalping Edit: Changed haircut to scalping. Because that's what I came up with this morning.

400 Jokes More 400 Jokes

How many volunteers do we have for my evil army?

384 my liege" "Ok, round them up" "400 my liege"

What do you get when you cross 400 Obese Water Buffalo with a Transgender Pimp?

Clickbait

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

Where are you when you're in the U.K. waiting for Vietnamese soup?

Pho queue

How do you make a Gorilla stew?

You keep it waiting for three hours!