00 Jokes

What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

I wouldn't pay $300 to have a garbanzo bean in my mouth

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What's the difference between a green lentil and a chickpea?

I wouldn't pay $200 to have a green lentil on my face.

What's the difference between feminism and a $100 bill?

A $100 bill makes change

What's the difference between a lentil and a chick pea?

I won't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face.

Why did the calculator pay $100 for a pack of cigarettes?

There was a sin tax error. 8.5

What's the difference between a garbanzo and a chick pea?

I'm not spending $100 to have a garbanzo on my face.

What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives your girlfriend wild?

A $100 bill.

What do you call a circle of $100 bills?

Aretha Franklins! (Happy birthday to the Queen of Soul!)

Why did the crematorium operator get a $500 bonus?

Because he'd urn-ed it.

What is the difference between a lentil and a chick pea?

Well, for starters I would never pay $200 to have a lentil on my face.

What is the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?

A pervert wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on his face.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Why was Adele's phone bill $500 this month?

She must have called a 1,000 times

What is my relationship?

Alex: No sorry tha- glares at wife I'll take YOU RUINED MY LIFE KAREN for $800 Alex

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15 Jokes More 15 Jokes

How many Anime characters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only 1, but it takes them 15 episodes to do it.

What did Luke get for pulling Darth Vader's face mask off?

A 15 yard penalty.

911 Jokes More 911 Jokes

Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?

A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

What's the difference between a cow and 911?

You stop milking a cow after 14 years..

Shout Jokes More Shout Jokes

What do you call a Mexican guy shouting at someone?

An argumentative ese

What did the soccer player shout to the baker who's cakes kept sticking to the tin?

LINE IT!"

Crowd Jokes More Crowd Jokes

Why did the crowd watch the man futily attempt to blend oil and water for hours on end?

It was unmiscible.

Who wants to hear some Symphonies?

crowd goes wild B:I SAID WHO WANTS TO HEAR SOME SYMPHONIES *crowd goes nuts B:I CANT HEAR YOU!

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What do boys and algebra have in common?

They are both trying to find their X and they don't know Y.

What am I doing with the rest of my life?

I don't even know what I'm doing with the rest of this tweet...

Knock Jokes More Knock Jokes

What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon ?

A bird who knocks before delivering its message !

Who could that be?

It's 2:00 in the morning. Her: I don't know. Do burglars knock Me: It depends on how they were raised...

British Person Jokes More British Person Jokes

What do you call a British person playing a saxophone?

An Anglo Saxin'

How do you find a British person in a crowd?

1. Shout 0800 00 2. Wait for them to shout 1066.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why do moslem girls love black guys?

more satisfaction at night for wearing a ninja suit all day.

Why are there no black cults?

Everyone drinks the kool-ade on the first day.