What is my relationship?

Alex: No sorry tha- glares at wife I'll take YOU RUINED MY LIFE KAREN for $800 Alex

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

How JokeExplainBot spent his weekend?

Explaining his wife.

Who did Alaska vote for?

Berrrnie Sanders H/T: wife

00 Jokes More 00 Jokes

What do you call a circle of $100 bills?

Aretha Franklins! (Happy birthday to the Queen of Soul!)

Why was Adele's phone bill $500 this month?

She must have called a 1,000 times

Ruin Jokes More Ruin Jokes

Which American city did Japan ruin?

Detroit

What does a black man and a tornado have in common?

It only takes one to ruin a neighborhood.

Relationship Jokes More Relationship Jokes

Why is it so hard to get into a relationship with an SJW?

Because they have high double standards.

Why do horses have such a low divorce rate?

Because they're all in relationships!

Alex Jokes More Alex Jokes

What's Alex's (from 'A Clockwork Orange') preferred type of light?

Ultraviolent

What is buoyancy?

Alex: I'm sorry. The answer we were looking for is, Whatever.