What is my relationship?

Alex: No sorry tha- glares at wife I'll take YOU RUINED MY LIFE KAREN for $800 Alex

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Where'd you buy my gift?

Me: Bed Bath & Beyond Wife: You used a coupon right Me: Coupon *wife faints*

Why don't you buy your wife a watch?

There's already a clock on the stove

00 Jokes More 00 Jokes

What is my relationship?

Alex: No sorry tha- glares at wife I'll take YOU RUINED MY LIFE KAREN for $800 Alex

What's the difference between a garbanzo and a chick pea?

I'm not spending $100 to have a garbanzo on my face.

Ruin Jokes More Ruin Jokes

Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?

It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.

Who is an archaeologist?

One whose career is in ruins.

Relationship Jokes More Relationship Jokes

Why did the relationship between two parallel lines never worked out?

It never worked out because they never met

Why is it a bad idea to get in a relationship with a statue?

Because it's not going anywhere.

Alex Jokes More Alex Jokes

What is my relationship?

Alex: No sorry tha- glares at wife I'll take YOU RUINED MY LIFE KAREN for $800 Alex

What is buoyancy?

Alex: I'm sorry. The answer we were looking for is, Whatever.