Why do the undead read cringe stories?

Because they're already... DEAD INSIDE.

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Who are some of the best readers in the world?

World Trade Center workers, some of them can read 50 stories in just 8 seconds!

Why do Russian police officers always work in groups of three?

One of them can read, and one of them can write. The third one is there to keep an eye on the two intellectuals.

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What Social Media site do the undead use?

Tomblr.

Why are the undead so angry all the time?

They have mummy issues.