How alcoholic is a drink that's guaranteed to get you drunk?

Fool proof!

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

Why did Barty Crouch Jr. quit drinking?

Because it was making him moody.

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What does MSG stand for?

Mandarin Service Guaranteed.

How alcoholic is a drink that's guaranteed to get you drunk?

Fool proof!