How alcoholic is a drink that's guaranteed to get you drunk?

Fool proof!

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Where do graphic designers go for a drink?

CGI Friday's

Why should you always take two Mormon's fishing?

Cause if you take one, he'll drink all your beer

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Who's the best person to invite over for Christmas?

Charlie Sheen. Because you know it's GUARANTEED to be a white Christmas when he's around.

What does MSG stand for?

Mandarin Service Guaranteed.