How alcoholic is a drink that's guaranteed to get you drunk?

Fool proof!

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why does a blonde keep empty beer bottles in her fridge?

They are for those who don't drink!

What does Bill Cosby do when he can't sleep at night?

He finishes her drink EDIT: Apparently this is Conan's joke, so all credit goes to him. I just heard it from a friend of mine and I had no idea.

Guarantee Jokes More Guarantee Jokes

Who's the best person to invite over for Christmas?

Charlie Sheen. Because you know it's GUARANTEED to be a white Christmas when he's around.

What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?

Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"