How do I stay humble?

Well, it's not easy, but I start by being generally bad at almost all things.

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What are your best Sports Team jokes?

With the NHL season getting started tonight. I am wondering what are you best jokes making fun off sports teams. All Sports (Baseball,hockey,football, soccer etc).

When does karaoke start?

Him: Never. Me: But I put my "I Karaoke" t-shirt on. Him: We noticed. Me: This is the worst funeral ever.

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What is the only thing standing between me and being rich?

I haven't hit Reddit gold yet.

What do you call a Mustard that keeps remembering things that haven't happened yet?

dijon-vu mustard... (Sorry)

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How do you know when you're staying in a hillbilly hotel?

When you call the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in my sink," and the clerk replies, "okay, Go ahead."

What is Irish and stays on your patio, even when it rains?

Patty O'Furniture.