How do you excite an idiot?

I'll tell you later.

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How do you know you put the right joke in the right thread?

Don't worry, someone will tell you.

How do you tell if someone online is American?

They keep their caps locked and guns loaded. (Not the best and not original)

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How do you keep idiots waiting?

I'll tell you later

How do you keep an idiot busy for 3500 years?

Give them a bible

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How do you excite an idiot?

I'll tell you later.

Why was the detective excited when he found a thimble sized crown?

He was looking for Finger Prince. (Say it out loud if you don't get it.)