How do you make a racing snail faster?

I tried taking his shell off but it only made him more sluggish.

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Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What do you call an actor who has given up civilized life and gone to live in the wilderness?

Will Feral. Edit: I tried

Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.

Shell Jokes More Shell Jokes

How many Wake Forest fraternity brothers does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?

Seventeen. One to do it and sixteen to shell the M&M's.

How do tacos fair in a war?

They tend to be shells of their former selves