How does a hipster measure out his drugs?

Using instagrams.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What's the difference between a magicians wand and a policeman's baton?

A magicians wand is used for cunning stuns.

What type of milk does Mitt Romney use with his cereal?

The one percent

Drug Jokes More Drug Jokes

What do you call a dictionary on drugs?

High definition.

What is it about glow sticks that makes me want to dance in a field wearing fairy wings?

If only I hadn't taken so many drugs I'd know this.