How does a sailor remove a condom?

He farts

This joke may have profanity.

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How do you put a condom on a elephant?

You take the c out of ice and the f out of weigh.

What's the rule for Twitter crushes?

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What do you call a pirate that sells things?

A sailor.

How do you fit four sailors onto a barstool?

Turn the barstool upside down.